In this conversation, the founders of wellness podcast Finding Your Feet give Missile a lesson in self development and share their tips on weeding out toxic friends

Abby and Grace are best friends and co-hosts of their podcast, Finding Your Feet

Image: Abby and Grace

Would you describe yourself as insecure, unconfident or lost? If so, 25-year-old podcasters Abby and Grace can help guide you on your journey to “Finding Your Feet” in life. Their show, with new episodes every Wednesday, is dedicated to providing you with ways to live as your true, authentic self. The pair will often discuss wellness topics between themselves but also host interviews with renowned experts in the self development realm including best-selling author Mo Gawdat and spiritual thought leader, Ella Ringrose. Missile speaks to Abby and Grace about the experience of starting their own podcast, the challenges of a self development journey and uncovers some spooky spiritual stories.

Hey Abby and Grace, tell us a bit about why you started Finding Your Feet?

GRACE: We started the podcast in the first lockdown in April 2020, when we were both on furlough from our jobs. I said to Abby “do you fancy starting a podcast?” as we had previously joked about it over dinner. I didn’t know anything about making a podcast so we went in with pure naivety, which I think is the best way to do things, especially when you’re young. Naivety is so precious, and you lose it when you get older so we jumped into it. We thought to begin by having one of our usual conversations about being a better you and putting it on the internet to see if people like it, and if they do that’s cool, we’ll just return to our jobs when furlough ends and do this at the weekend. We were both living in London at the time and there was a podcast studio around the corner from my office. We began sharing what we always talk about between ourselves and thought that there must be other people that resonate with us and who this would help and, without realising it, we were creating a show that we wish the younger version of us had.

How did you two meet?

ABBY: We met at fashion college when we were 17, studying fashion and textiles. We gravitated towards each other and began bonding over books, sharing our favourite quotes. We went our separate ways for a while but always stayed close.

G: Yeah, it was a natural friendship.

For our readers that don’t know, what is Finding Your Feet?

G: It is a self development and wellness platform. A journey back to your true, authentic self and a process of finding your feet and overcoming the challenges you face on the journey. We say our mission is to help you raise the standards for your own wellbeing in your life. We want to empower you and help you think bigger, not saying you need to become Beyonce but we can help you feel happy and confident as well as find good, non-toxic friendships. It’s about reaching your potential.

This latest episode of the podcast, click the play button to listen

You’ve both been on your own self development journeys for a while now, why did you feel you needed to do this?

G: For me, I developed bad anxiety when I was 17 and I didn’t know anything about it how to manage it or what was going on. I had anxiety attacks but thought I was just really ill. It stemmed from this anxiety because I thought, “this isn’t normal” and I started to research more about it, attended therapy and opened up to my friends. I was the only person in my friendship group who spoke about their struggles, so it wasn’t an easy conversation for me, but I felt I had to do it because I needed to find some sort of solution.

A: I never struggled too much with my own mental health. I definitely had weird ways of dealing with feelings and emotions growing up, but I think we all do from time to time. Mine stems from seeing family members struggle with mental health, so I began thinking about how I can change this and what difference I can make moving forward.

What separates you from other self development podcasts?

G: I think we offer real relatability, and we never claim to be gurus or worldly teachers. We are very passionate about wellbeing, being happy, finding out who you really are and having a fulfilling life. We don’t obviously come on and share our entire lives, you have to keep some things private! But I like to think that we keep it very real, we always bring authenticity. I think sometimes these conversations don’t actually happen in friendship groups so people can often think they’re alone in how they feel but I think we provide that support.

A: We sometimes release an episode, and we receive a lot of comments that say, “I really needed that right now,” and I think that’s because we’re relatable in the sense that we are going through the exact same thing as everybody else.

The pair began the podcast in their bedrooms during lockdown 

Video: @findingyourfeetpodcast

What are your book recommendations for people who are beginning their journey?

A: One of the first books I read was called Clarity by James Smart. It’s very deep and discusses the subconscious mind and I didn’t understand any of it when I read It. It just made me feel really good and proved to me that there are so many options for me, that I can change my mindset. I now read more straight forward books like The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero.

G: I think your first self development books are always the ones that open your mind to the possibility that you can have more control over your life than you think. The book that really propelled change for me was You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero, like Abby said. It helps you realise how much control you have over your life and stops you from thinking that you have to live a certain way.

What advice do you have for people wanting to start a podcast?

G: I was walking through the park and I just got this thought, this idea from the universe about seriously starting a podcast. I went with my intuition because I know that doing so can lead you to amazing things. When it comes to not caring about what others think, you have to come back to why you’re doing it, and that will completely override that fear of what people think. I always say you only have one life and your enjoyment is completely your responsibility, and that enjoyment far outweighs what other people think. I have no one around me that would be negative towards the podcast, I weeded them out a long time ago.

How do you suggest we weed out those toxic friends?

A: Grace is the most ruthless person but it’s so inspiring! I’ve never met anyone as cutthroat as Grace because she knows what she wants and has done from a young age.

G: I started binning off sh*t friends when I was 17. I started to realise they had weird values. It’s not as if all your values have to be aligned with your friends', but they would put petty things above our friendship. I didn’t want to be in a friendship with someone like that, I was a blocker. Straight up, block and goodbye. Pay attention to who you feel good around and if you have people that make you feel sh*t, they’re not the people you should hang out with. It’s an ongoing thing in life. If you surround yourself with good people, you can go a long way. And if you surround yourself with small minded, negative people, you're going to get capped. Think carefully about who you hang around with.

Grace's methods are ruthless but effective.

Video: @findingyourfeetpodcast

Who has been your favourite guest on the show?

A: I think maybe Mo Gowdat. His mindset on happiness is revolutionary and that's why his name is spreading around the world. He made me realise that I was causing myself unnecessary suffering. If everyone listened to him for just five minutes a day, oh my God, the world would be incredible.

G: We found out about Owen O’Kane through Mo’s podcast. Owen comes from a practical mental health point of view. He helped me when my anxiety was triggered by everything. He is one of the best people out there, he’s bang on with everything.

What is a quote or line from a book that you keep with you at all times?

A: Brad Yates once explained: “Self-sabotage is misguided self-love.” That really helped me get my head around our subconscious mind. We're always trying to protect ourselves and we're manifesting safety over our goals. I started to understand that I’m not holding myself back because I hate myself but because I’m keeping myself safe.

G: I have two. One is from Abraham Hicks: “You are never deprived when someone else gains. Abundance expands proportionately to match desires.” Sometimes you can start to think there isn’t enough love and success to go around, but there is so much. In the book A Return to Love by Marianna Williamson, she says that the person you see achieving your goals before you isn’t better than you, they’re just slightly ahead and it doesn’t take any of your potential away from you. One of our guests Sinead Hegarty quoted “love of fate.” Having that love of fate helps you to find lessons and growth in challenging times, it doesn’t mean staying in toxic situations but makes you ask, “can I find a way to make this bad time worthwhile?”

The duo are passionate about manifestation and the power of positive thinking. They help listeners to unlearn their negative thoughts

Image: @findingyourfeetpodcast

How do you strike the balance between doing your self development work and applying it to real life?

G: I think this is so important. I don't want our listeners to think that they need to be on this never-ending self development journey and that they’re a constant project that needs to always be worked on for them to be worthy. You need to live your life alongside doing this work and realise that you're still going to make mistakes and f*ck up. It's about having compassion and knowing that you are a perfectly imperfect human. Don’t slip into thinking: “Oh, I've read all this, I've self-taught, I'm done, I'm sorted, I'm perfect.” You really need to integrate the things you're learning into your life, and you do that through living and trying new things.

A: The most valuable lessons come from your life experience. For example, Roxie Nafousi wrote Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life from her own experience, using it to help us heal. The only way you will heal is by integrating the lessons into your life, hobbies and practices.

Do either of you have any spooky, out-of-body stories to tell?

G: I was once hypnotised by a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NPL) therapist who dropped me into a very deep sleep. I had lots of visions of the future and one of them involved the girl I was living with at the time, disappearing over my left shoulder into a black hole.  I wasn’t aware she was a bad friend at the time but months later I was having drama with her and the vision came back to me. It all made sense. When you’re open to the universe and your spirit guides, you can get helpful messages from them.

A: I was doing a breathwork technique as taught by Joe Dispenza that involved moving energy from your energy centres to the brain and then out of the head. It was one of the craziest days of my life. It made me feel like I was at home, I felt like I had been missing this feeling, it was magical. It made me realise I could do anything. I'm doing a course at the minute about the world of spirits and the process of tuning into them.

G: Abby’s got physic powers, she’s got a gift.

A: When I'm drunk, I see spirits, which can be annoying. It sounds f*cking crazy but I’m learning how to see them when I’m not drunk.

What can we do when we feel as if we’re falling off the bandwagon with our self development journey?

G: You go through phases of using certain tools that you need, like journaling. You don’t have to meditate, journal, and do your affirmations every day. You can just pick what you need in each moment. It’s a case of not judging yourself if you do fall off the bandwagon and making it easy for yourself to integrate your work into everyday life, like knowing that you need to meditate after you brush your teeth. Do things in small actionable steps, you only need to meditate for a few minutes a day and you may even go months without doing so, which is fine. Just make it work for you, create your own rules, and take the pressure off. Don't compare your routine to anyone else’s.

A: You don’t always have to be so deep in things. We have this idea of divine homesickness; when you’re not taking the time to connect with yourself you can feel homesick from yourself. Sometimes, when I haven't got time to sit with myself, I get this divine homesickness and it's a horrible feeling to feel like you miss your higher self. So, if I do feel like that, I think about how I can integrate it back into my life or just sit with myself and connect with my intuition.

What’s next for the podcast?

G: We want as many people as possible to listen to it because we want listeners to be finding their feet in their own lives and figure out that you can enjoy life. We’d love to do live speaking events or bring out physical wellness products such as a journal with prompts. We’re trying to build this community and make people feel part of something.

A: We just signed with a podcast network called Monday Network. So, we're all supporting each other. I feel like we're just so ambitious, every day we ask ourselves: “What can we do to stay close to our goals and get the message out?”

If you're desperate for more words of wisdom from the duo, listen to their podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Follow them on Instagram at @findingyourfeetpodcast for your daily dose of positive mental attitude.