Miss Erica Storm is the Dominatrix helping women step into their sexual power. In this exclusive interview, Miss Storm whips Missile into shape

Miss Erica Storm's seductive talents have been  featured in a Louis Theroux documentary 

Image: Miss Erica Storm

In her 12 years of developing her craft as a dominatrix, Miss Erica Storm (AKA Madam Storm) has helped to truly empower herself and other women through the magic of seduction. Miss Storm is an empowerment coach, she leads workshops and mistress training classes that teach her clients everything they need to know about being a sensual and confident woman. Her renowned Strut Masterclass, in which she educates her clients on the importance of walking in heels, has been featured on television programme 10 Years Younger and Channel 4’s TV show Sex Actually, produced by Louis Theroux. Standing at five foot 11 inches tall, Miss Storm is a powerful force of nature, about to embark on a personal journey of healing. The dominatrix opens up about this journey to true and authentic self-love and the importance of female unity. Prepare to feel powerful.

Miss Erica Storm, hello! Let’s go back in time and chat about your entry into the dominatrix world. How did it all begin?

Sometimes I want to say it happened by accident. It all stemmed from trying to find a place where I could fit in as a sexually confident woman. At school, people were intimated by me because I was an opinionated black woman, and I ended up going to seven different schools. As I grew older, I started attracting different types of women including erotic dancers and escorts and I even once met an escort who was also a gynaecologist! You would often find them studying at the bar. A lot of people say these women are damaged, but I think that is a way of disempowering them. Why do people keep taking away women’s choices?

One of the dancers I met told me about a dungeon she was opening with her sister. I was like “oh cool, a dungeon.” I had no idea what she was talking about, I was playing it cool until she started mentioning whips and canes. I said to her “okay homegirl, lets break this down.” She explained that she was a mistress and educated me that this didn’t mean she was a married man’s bit on the side but was a dominant woman getting paid. I did my research and found a lady who welcomed me into her home and the world of BDSM. I knew that if I focused on this as a business, I could make it a success. Being a dom allowed me to hone in on my erotic capital. If a woman can tap into this, there is no limit to her power, and that’s why society tries so goddam hard to suppress our sexual confidence.

Oh, absolutely. Do you think that it's a case of society fearing what a woman could be capable of if she wasn’t limited by this suppression?

You only have to look back in history to see how powerful a woman is when she is aware of her sexual confidence. I have always been in love with the power of the pussy. I am going to be open and honest with you here. I have experienced sexual trauma and over-sexualisation. Many of the women I coach on my courses have experienced some sort of sexual trauma and its challenging to feel comfortable with your sexuality after this. I used the world of BDSM to empower myself and it has helped me grow over the past 12 years. I’m not scared to evolve; people need to stop being what others want them to be. Recreate yourself. You’re not who you were yesterday, honey.

A BDSM Tart Card avertising the service of a dominatrix

Image: Tart Cards: London's Illicit Advertising Art by Caroline Archer

Do you think you’ve stepped into your BDSM persona and become that character?

Absolutely. I am authentically who I've always wanted to be. Madam Storm was the vehicle to push me through, the person who protected me, but I was always authentic. I really believed I was a badass and I still do. Before I could empower others, I had to strip everything bare and ask myself, “do I still feel like a badass?” “Can I still fuck shit up?” I’ve proven to myself I can. I’ve gone through an amazing change and now I’m comfortable with my vulnerability. I am living in my purpose and that purpose is to empower women. I want women to really connect with me and to know that whatever power they see within me, is also within them. Allowing people to call me Erica opens that up. What do you think?

I agree, it allows you to be on the same level as your clients.

Definitely. People talk about the ego a lot, Madam Storm is fully, 100% in her ego. We hear a lot about killing the ego. In fact, the ego is there to f*cking get you to where you want to go. As a coach I am forever reflecting, and it’s hard to look in the mirror and think “yeah, I was full of sh*t.” Allowing myself to be vulnerable has been an “aha” moment.

Miss Storm teaching her Strut Masterclass

Image: Miss Erica Storm

What are you working on at the moment?

I’m training to be a Clinical Psychosexual Therapist which, for me, as a black woman, is so important. When I coach women, it is so important that they have someone that looks like them because representation is crucial for confidence and confidence has everything to do with sex. Sex is like the heartbeat.

I’m on a personal yoga journey right now. For three months, I am only focusing on my yoga. I don’t do things for the money. I do what is good for my spirit. It’s scary but sometimes you have to operate in the unknown and I think the unknown is what stops us from being great. We always want to know the result of our actions, rather than just being present. We talk a lot about being present during sex, and we can also apply it to when we do our body worship or when we walk into a room full of strangers. If you're having sex and you're not present, you'll be thinking: “How do my boobs look?”, or, “am I doing it right?” Or you might walk into a room thinking, “oh my god what is everyone thinking about me?” Instead of just thinking, “I’m here, I’m me."

How do you stay present?

I’m big on mirror work but in my sensual work training at the minute, there’s no mirrors. It’s really special because you’re present and internal. You’re just focusing on how it feels. I allowed myself to be totally vulnerable in class and I cried and this is something I want to introduce in my own coaching. I am planning on running retreats, so I am working on that at the minute.

What does the retreat aim to achieve?

I really think it’s going to help women of all different shapes and sizes. I feel like self-confidence is very much focused on big women, people never really shine the torch on what it’s like to be a slim woman. All women have sh*t, that is why we need to unite. Whether you’re tall, short, big, curvy or slim.

What is one thing you can suggest to the readers that they can do every day to help improve their self-confidence?

I’m going to give you my whole routine. The first thing I do before anything is put music on. From there, I feel the way I want to feel. So, I wake up like “WOO! YES!” I tell myself that I love myself every single day.

Did it take you a while to believe that or have you always believed that?

That’s a tricky question. I used to abuse drugs, so when I was doing that, did I really love myself? The truth is baby girl, I’m just growing through everything. When I was doing that, was I telling myself I loved myself every day? No, I wasn’t. I was escaping my demons through drugs and healing myself through sex.

Let’s get back to that amazing routine.

So, I wake up, tell myself I love myself and I set my intentions. Then I do my body worship. Sometimes this is in the shower, I tell myself, “I love my arms, I love my breasts.” I tell my womb that I love her because I’m trying to heal my fibroids and PCOS. Then I do my yoga and my sensual stretching.

How long does this take you?

*Miss Storm laughs hysterically*

Listen, I like spending time with myself, so I will block out two hours. I understand that this is a privilege, but I have a business that lets me do this, I don’t have kids or a 9-5. No one can book me in the mornings, that’s my time. Give yourself that self-love and that self-validation so that when you leave the house and go out into the world, all the comments and love you receive are extra because you have already fuelled your love tank.

Miss Storm uses words of affirmation to help her Strut Masterclass clients come into their confidence

Video courtesy: Miss Erica Storm

So, you’re training to be a Psychosexual Therapist, tell us about your background in psychology.

I'm a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner. It’s so f*cking dope. Say you wanted to discuss a kink with a specialist (because there’s a lot of shame about kinks), I would hope you would feel more comfortable talking to a woman who has been the kinkster! I'm really looking forward to going into that space and f*cking sh*t up. I've had to kick down every door to do this because I don't fit into the box or mould that they want me to fit into. They say, “so you’re a dom? You can’t possibly also be a therapist?” I’m a free human being, I’m going to do whatever I feel like doing.

What does success mean to you?

I think it means so many different things to different people. So many people wrote me off, now they’re messaging me on Facebook and I’m like “oh girl, please!” As long as whatever you do in life you do with love, you will be successful. When I started teaching, who could have known that bloody Louis Theroux would have a documentary about the industry? Who knew my Strut Masterclass, that I started in my bedroom, would be a success? My work has empowered women who are cancer survivors, rape survivors, survivors of domestic abuse. It's changing people’s lives.

Do you encounter many people who disagree with what you do?

I tend not to waste my time with people who are committed to misunderstanding me. Sometimes I can get angry when people disrespect me or use language that I find disempowering, for example, if they call me a girl rather than a woman. I don’t let anyone bully me. It's part of a struggle of being a black woman in Britain. We can't allow people to silence us, because then nothing would change.

Why do you think there is such judgement towards women who work in the sex work industry?

Lack of education and fear. It could also be for religious and cultural reasons. For example, I was told the other day that doing yoga is evil. I also feel that when you dislike something or someone, something in them triggers an insecurity in you. What I do with my pussy is no one's f*cking business, sorry to be so crude. An example could be that a woman says she doesn’t like strippers, but maybe that’s because she feels inferior. It’s challenging because not only do we have to fight men who try to control us, but other women, too. This is why we need to unite, so we can teach younger generations and avoid prejudice. I don't think anyone is a truly prejudice when they're born, they’re conditioned.

Miss Erica Storm speaks with passion and confidence at all times, especially when it comes to her body

*Cick "listen in browser"*

What was the reaction of your family when you started this journey?

I've always been the black sheep of the family, so it was no surprise. Were people judgmental? Maybe. But I don’t live for anyone’s else’s approval. Sometimes your next level requires distance from your norm, from your family and friends. It may require you to spend time with yourself to evolve.

Who is your role model? I think I know the answer to this... I hope you’re about to say it’s yourself.

Girlfriend, I was just about to say. That’s not me being narcissistic. But the only person I'm trying to be like, is me. Are there women who I admire? Absolutely. I admire my mother, my friends, I admire you. I think that you would be doing a disservice to yourself if you didn't allow yourself to be inspired by some dope ass women that are around us and men. I'm not against men, I love my dad I think he's an amazing man. I'm inspired by a lot of people. But who is my role model? It's that woman who looks back at me in the mirror. I just want to be a better version of myself.

Do you think you’ll ever be completely satisfied? Is there an ultimate version of Miss Erica Storm or are you forever adapting?

I think it's never ending; I like that word, adapting. I'm very happy with who I am. I'm so proud of myself. I love how much I've learned about myself, and I don't think I'm going to stop learning about myself. I'm not dissatisfied with who I am, but I am limitless. My growth and power is limitless. So therefore, I will continue to grow until I pass.

Do you have any regrets?

No, I don't have any regrets. Again, it’s about being present. I would have to be in the past to regret something. It’s already happened. Everything makes you who you are, even your f*ck ups. I think that a lack of confidence comes from shame and guilt. Just let it go. We're human, we were allowed to make mistakes. I wouldn't be the woman I am today if I didn't go through everything that I went through in my life, I wouldn't have the self-growth that I have. And it wouldn't be my story.

I hope that my story has inspired others to just be authentic, to be who they are. Because I know lots of people who are super successful, but they're not happy.

Follow Miss Erica Storm on Instagram at @madamstormofficial to learn a few things about the power of loving your body.